Sometimes our plans don't work out. It's heartbreaking, devastating, and honestly a big inconvenience. But guess what. They weren't our plans to begin with. They were and will always be His. Having one of the biggest trips of my life hanging on by a thread has me contemplating why I wanted to go in the first place. Do I want to travel so I can post pictures and seem more cultured? Do I want to make people jealous of a somewhat factitious life that's portrayed by my social media? Or do I truly want to travel so I can experience His creation. Honestly, probably a little of both. I'm human. I wanted to dig deeper.
My longing to go is a feeling that doesn't have a word for it. I want to experience how others live. I want to leave a place wondering more than when I arrived. I want to be a responsible and respectful citizen of the world as I immerse myself in somebody else's home. I want to capture mountains and cities in picture so my fading memory will never forget and my children and grandchild can be inspired. I want to become better by learning through others very different from myself. Traveling and exploring energizes and excites my soul. It's one of my big whys in life.
My why and His plans should intertwine. So while I want to go now, I will wait if He wants me to. Unfortunately, it always takes something scary, sad, or anxiety-provoking to bring me closer to my faith. But I'm thankful. I've come across this verse multiple times over the last couple of weeks and I'm starting to think it wasn't an accident. 2 Peter 1: 5-8 talks about confirming one's calling. So take-heart. Find your 'why' and contemplate His plan for your life. They don't have to work against each other; They should fully and totally embrace one another and create a whole human being. One passion does not make you who you are, and the inability to pursue what you want will not break you.
5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
XOXO,
Em
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